Shopping with a Squirrel

During the first 9 months of motherhood, having a child did not significantly hinder the shopping experience. When Macie was a newborn she would sleep in her stroller and was often unfazed by the process. When Macie was old enough to sit upright in the cart, her fascination with our surroundings kept her occupied long enough for me to get what I needed and check out. Although shopping with a baby was not the easygoing, unburdened experience that it used to be, it was at least manageable. This summer Macie’s patience for prolonged confinement in her stroller and/or shopping cart began steadily declining. I could still keep her in the stroller or cart, but I had a significantly reduced time threshold in which to complete my shopping. Once Macie started walking (right after her 1^st birthday), shopping became all but impossible. Other than the weekly trip to the grocery store and an occasional trip to Target, I typically avoid shopping with Macie.

In case you have never been shopping with a toddler, believe me when I say that it’s like someone let a squirrel loose in the store. In a previous blog, Hurricane Macie, I compared Macie’s destructive tendencies to a hurricane. She just can’t wait to get her hands on clean, organized spaces and transform them into piles of rubble. Macie’s method for destroying stores is similar to how she wreaks havoc in her room. However, it is much worse in public because there are many more things to touch. Macie immediately goes into squirrel mode and gets to work. She runs from section to section pulling bits and pieces off the shelves as she goes. Sometimes Macie stops to inspect the item in her hand before carelessly tossing it to the ground, other time she doesn’t even care about the item- she just wants it off the rack and on the floor. In her quest to touch everything, Macie darts quickly through the maze of displays. You must keep your eyes glued to her at all times; otherwise you will easily loose her. When I do take Macie shopping I usually end up making hassled, thoughtless purchases, which results in another trip to the store to return half the items. I spend more time worried about keeping Macie occupied and preventing her from destroying the store than actually shopping. I can never fully focus on what I need. This means that the shopping experience is no longer fulfilling or productive…L.  Now the process is so stressful and tiresome that I would rather avoid the situation all together than take Macie.

 

Three recent shopping excursions perfectly illustrate the process of shopping with a toddler. The first time I noticed how difficult it is to shop with a toddler was on my little sister’s birthday. As usual, my mother, sisters, and I planned lunch and shopping to celebrate. My husband works strange hours and was, unfortunately, unable to stay home with Macie. With optimistic (delusional) resolution I convinced myself that it would all work out. I couldn’t have been more wrong. After a fairly successful lunch I was hopeful that Macie would make it through a little shopping. Unfortunately, I had forgotten how long shopping takes with four women. We hadn’t even made it out of our first store before Macie was bored with her stroller and ready to explore. By the time we got to Victoria’s Secret she was in full squirrel mode. Despite my best efforts to block her little fingers, Macie kept pulling panties out of the drawers. Exhausted, I decided to put Macie back in her stroller and try to distract her with a cell phone. This unsuccessful attempt, resulting in tears, was the final straw- I had had enough. We weren’t in the mall for more than an hour before we left. I have never been happier to leave the mall in my life.

A few months ago my mom, little sister, and nephew came to the city to shop. As usual, we headed to the West County Mall to hit up a few of our favorite stores. Again, Josh was working so I had no choice but to bring Macie. After the last shopping incident I was wary, but still optimistic. Maybe this time would be different. It wasn’t. In the parking lot Macie flat out refused to be strapped into her stroller so we decided to carry her...such a practical idea, right? After breaking my back carrying Macie for ten minutes, then wrestling with her as she attempted to wriggle out of my arms, I ended up chasing her around the store while my mother shopped. After an hour I was exhausted, frazzled, and just wanted to go home. Luckily my little sister is a mommy genius and rented one of those shopping cart/kiddie cars at one of the mall kiosks. Macie agreed to sit in the cart, but only if you plied her with graham crackers. In the final store, The Children’s Place, Macie decided that she was ready to join in the fun. Once we let her down she ran from rack to rack of clothing, carefully inspecting each item. Although Macie’s behavior was entertaining, I was concerned that Macie was annoying the sales associates so I hurriedly picked out clothing for Macie and left. At this point I was saddened to realize that I no longer enjoyed shopping- at least not with my daughter (gasp L).

This weekend my mom, twin sister, and I planned yet another shopping trip to buy coordinating outfits for our upcoming family photos. When we made the plans I had every intention of hiring a babysitter to watch Macie. Unfortunately, my babysitters were unavailable. My mom and sister responded positively to the news, but having been through the Macie shopping experience before I knew that this changed the whole focus of the day. At this point I knew that we only had about two hours of distracted shopping and I was fairly certain that we wouldn’t end up accomplishing our objective. My goal for the first store was to purchase larger clothes for Macie, as her latest growth spurt left her shirts and pants about half an inch too short. That was the ONLY thing we needed from this store, yet somehow we ended up meandering amongst the departments- shoes, home goods, lingerie, and finally to the children’s section. As we proceeded through each section Macie had a wonderful time running through the aisles, pulling panties and brassieres off the racks, and trying her best to lose us. Again, it was like shopping with a rabid squirrel. If you let her loose she wreaks havoc on the store. When you try to contain her she screams, foams at the mouth, and tries to bite you (slight exaggeration). By the time we made it out of the first store Macie was at her threshold of shopping tolerance. The charm of running around, pulling items onto the floor, and leaving devastation in her wake had faded and Macie was ready for lunch and a nap. Luckily, Josh was able to pick up Macie at our next store and left us to our mission. Even without the distraction of Macie we still spent HOURS searching for coordinating outfits…which could have something to do with the fact that we are very distracted shoppers to begin with.